A reflection – “Biting more than I can chew syndrome”

Do you have it too?

This need to make a huge, exaggerated list of plans, that you need to get done as soon as possible? This need to be busy at all times, busier than anyone else? This striving for perfection that you cannot control?

Well, I do. I’ve always had it.

Before, I was not good at making things happening at all, so I wouldn’t care anyway.

With the years, experience and changes, I became productive and someone who can finish projects, really DO things, plan and accomplish. With these changes, came the stress and need to be super productive and organized. I can be, at times. I can multitask and actually focus on everything that I am doing, despite what people might say. I’m usually blogging, watching/listening to a YouTube video and texting, for example.

But, I have a tendency to overdo-it. To push myself too hard and to be my worst enemy.

My psychiatrist says this is one of my symptoms of Bipolar 2. Being extremely productive when well, entrepreneurial and independent from a young age. If this doesn’t describe me, I don’t know what does.

The thing is, I’m not going to give this away. I’m sorry. I don’t know who I am if I’m not busy and being productive. This might be part of some mental illness, but it is still me. It happens to be my favorite part about myself too. The type A, overachiever, “do-it-all-right-now” type of person. So I won’t give it up. Ever. But I have learned two things:

  1. I can’t be like this all the time. If I’m unwell, things will not get done and that’s okay. I will forget my to-do list and watch movies until I’m so bored I need to get back to it. I’ll rest, until I’m there again.
  2. It’s okay when things don’t get done. I know I tend to do huge lists and I’ll keep doing them, but I’ll be fine when I don’t scratch every single thing. It’ll get done eventually. I’m not going to stress about it.

This is the best compromise I can make with myself. I continue to be exactly who I am, but I relax and give myself some grace, when needed. It takes a ton of weight of my shoulders, and I don’t feel like I need to change, just adapt.

With that said, I’ll come back soon with my July wrap-up and my August goals 😉

Thank you so much.

9 thoughts on “A reflection – “Biting more than I can chew syndrome”

  1. Adapting is good. You can’t change who you are completely, but making compromises and occasionally letting things slide is also necessary otherwise you may burn out. Keep doing you Chey 🙂

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  2. It sounds like you’ve managed to find a great balance in your mental attitude and the habits you’re forming. Unless I am crazy passionate about something, I find it challenging to tackle the task. It works for and against me. When I feel strongly about something, I’m all in.

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  3. I write my list on paper to remind me they are flexible like the paper they are written on 😉 You have the right attitude, do what you can and the rest will get done. It’s not going anywhere, and be waiting right there for you 🙂 No need to change the part of you that you love the best. Praying that you find the balance that will bring you peace. 🙂

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  4. I totally am an overachiever, but my compulsion because I have too many ideas. I constantly have a billion and 1 ideas and feel the pressure to get started on them all because they are all awesome ideas. I had to learn that I have to take it day by day in bite sized chunks otherwise I am overwhelmed and get nothing done

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