Tag: #anxiety and depression

Bloggers Talk About Mental Health Support Group on Facebook – Will you join us?

Cheila16 Comments

Bloggers Talk About Mental Health Support Group

Hello Fellow Bloggers,

I have been talking about my struggles with anxiety, depression and ,possibly, Bipolar Disorder Type II since I started this blog a year ago. I was never ashamed to put it out there. I mean, I’m lying. I was NO LONGER ashamed to put it out there. There was a lot of shame once.

There was also loneliness.

That is why I decided to start this Facebook group where we can all talk, support each other, vent, complain, share experiences and frustrations, all with people who DO understand.

I know many of you struggle with mental health issues as well, so I thought we could all be together in this. Will you be my shoulder to cry on? I will be very happy to be yours.

Look for the group, share with your friends who needed us as well.

Love you all.

Chey.

I have Great News!!

Cheila44 Comments

Everyone,

I just wanted to stop by and tell you that I had an appointment with my psychiatrist yesterday and she said I looked like a different person. She said I’m so much better and that she was very happy to see me. She reduced my medication and so I’m no longer on Bupropion and Mexazolam, which I have been taking for the longest time.

I’m just so happy about this.

It’s the first time I’ve seen a real improvement and reduction on my medication, after years of increasing it, changing it, trial and error. I’ve been dealing with anxiety and depression since I was 18. I was diagnosed and first medicated at 22. I’ve been through 2 psychiatrists, 5 therapists and I know 75% of antidepressants, mood stabilizers and anti anxiety pills on the market.

I wish I didn’t have so much information. But since I do, I need to make sure I share it with others. And I promise you I’ll do that. For those of you who are still struggling, I’ll share my detailed experience and do my best to help.

Today, I just want to tell you it’s possible to get better. I’m not cured and I don’t know when/if I’ll ever be, but I’m finally so much better.

Trust me, I have seen the darkest side of life. I’ve felt it. I’ve lived with a huge cloud over my head for years. I’ve been through life carrying a backpack full of rocks for way too long. I’ve hated myself, everyone else, life itself. Everything has seemed pointless. Everyone has looked like an enemy. Death has been a wish.

I know it’s difficult and sometimes unfair/hard to compare, but I can tell you I had one of the most serious and difficult cases of clinical depression. I know quite a few people who have suffered from depression and they all got better so much easily, faster, sooner. That was frustrating and I would get angry because I seemed to have it worse than everyone else. I actually did. Years of extreme stress, heartbreak, responsibilities, growing up too fast, taking care of others, being strong for them, a bad childhood, among other things had collapsed on me, so I was dealing with 20 something years worth of trauma, damage, exhaustion. I wasn’t having an episode of depression. I was having THE episode of depression I had been holding inside me forever. It hit me hard, with no mercy.

God knows how much I’ve been through because of my mental health.

God knows how much Rui has been through because of it.

That guy is a saint.

I don’t say this because I love him, I say this because I know him. He is a rock. He’ll take care of you, provide you with whatever you need, comfort you, be there for you emotionally, know how to handle an anxiety attack, do extensive research on all of your medications, make sure you take care of yourself, cook for you, clean for you, understand when you simply cannot get out of bed, cuddle you, give you hope, say you’re beautiful when you’ve put on 60 pounds, make you laugh when you really want to cry, protect you, tell you you’ll find the best possible doctor and care, no matter how much you’ll have to spend or how you’re going to find the money for, do his best to make you smile, be your shoulder to cry on, defend you, tell people who think “depression is in your head” they’re fucking idiots and ignorants who should go and get some information, be your mother’s best friend, your sister’s big brother, be there for your appointments, get you the things you like because they’ll make you a little happy, get really angry at you because you don’t eat properly, be your absolute best friend, caretaker, boyfriend, husband, lover, confidant, partner, fan, the one who makes up for whatever is missing.

I think everyone should have someone like Rui in their lives.

We’ve been through thick and thin and we’re still together. We’ve really been through some real “grown up” problems for the past 5 years we’ve been together. There was never cheating, jealousy, cellphone checking, lying, issues with exes. We’ve been dealing with real, hard, old married couple problems since we were about 22 and 22, up until now. I guess we’ve passed the test.

What I really want to say is, I’m not cured. I may never be. I don’t mind really, as long as I have the proper care. But today, finally, I can say that I am far BETTER. Better is a beautiful word. So I’m happy about better. Better is more than enough.

Thank you for everything, guys.

If you’re going through a similar journey, we’re together. Talk to me. Let me be there for you.

Daily Planner and Journal – 05.02.2018: Trying to bring it back (about 8 hours late) + weekend

Cheila10 Comments

Good afternoon guys,

How are you facing Monday?

It’s a hard one right?

  • Hangover from drinking while watching Super Bowl?
  • Depressed because of THAT This is Us episode?
  • Shocked/ecstatic because Kylie Jenner has given birth?
  • All of the above?

Right.

May your coffee be strong and your chocolate be plenty.

I’m actually fine. I don’t care for the Super Bowl, I haven’t watched THAT episode yet (Lord help me) and I’ve been googling “Kylie Jenner pregnant” every day since September, waiting for news so I’m pretty satisfied. I’m not joking about the google part.

I really want to go back to my early morning planning and before bed journaling and update on how my day went and how I tackled my to-do list. I know you guys enjoy it and I feel more organized when I do so.

I would like the planning to be published at about 8 a.m and the update to go up at about 8 p.m. it would be nice to have somewhat of a schedule. I hope I can pull it off.

About the weekend: I did nothing. I was expecting it so I am fine with it. I needed a break. For real.

I have this huge freelance writing project to finish until the end of the week so I’m working on that.

I’m so much better than last week, thankfully.

See you soon, guys.

❤️

This time last year: The looking back series (30/01/2017)

Cheila6 Comments

WEEKEND RECAP AND PLANS FOR THE WEEK

First of all, and before I share my plans for this week I should give you some sort of weekend recap. Bloggers do that, I guess.

So, what happened this weekend?

Nothing much and nothing too interesting. I washed and folded a ton of laundry, which we had to take to the wash station to dry since we don’t own a dryer and it was a rainy weekend. My boyfriend washed a ton of dishes from last week and cleaned the kitchen. We cleaned some more and took care of a few things around the house and thought about changing the position of our bed but decided it wouldn’t work, so we kept it the same way. Saturday night we ate pizza for dinner and watched American Horror Story.I think we only have an episode left from the third season… now that it was finally growing on me. We also watched a movie “keeping up with the Joneses“, which was okay. I’m not a big fan of comedies. I slept a lot and after that I took naps. We did some grocery shopping and on Sunday night I cooked for the week. Boring, right?

• Put away all the laundry that I folded and iron a few things;

• Find a new psychiatrist and therapist for a second opinion and to try a different approach. I think that I should be feeling better by now and I am not, despite taking so much medication. I take anti psychotics to help with my nightmares but I have them anyway. Bad ones. I take sleeping pills but I don’t sleep that well. I sleep many hours but I never feel rested. I take something that it is supposed to help me with my energy levels and well, did I tell you about the sleepy and exhausted part? I also take mood stabilizers and antidepressants but I think that those actually help, so no problem there. My therapist… I love her but we just… talk. My psychiatrist suggested that I should try some kind of therapy that goes a little deeper and makes a bigger impact, otherwise I’m just paying to talk about my problems, something I could do with a friend. I will do some research and schedule an appointment with someone else for a second (or third) opinion.

• Sign up for a gym membership or at least decided what kind of option I want to go for. I’ve been wanting to do that for a while but lately I almost feel the need to move and to do something… sporty? I don’t know how to explain it. It is as weird as my Brussels sprouts craving from last week. Am I getting “healthy” with age? Ewww. One of this days you will find me doing a whole-30 and crossfit. Just kidding. that would never happen, right? Right??? Anyway, I want to do something and I definitely need it because 1. depression makes you gain weight; 2. depression medication makes you gain weight; 3. I sit all day; 4. I have back issues; 5. my knees hurt most days so I guess I also have knee issues; 6. It helps with depression and anxiety, they say; I love swimming and I love yoga and Pilates and anything that is kind of slow and does not require running, so that’s probably what I should sign up for. And find time for. Before my boyfriend kills me. You guys, he’s the sweetest, most amazing man in the world and keeps telling me that my health is the most important thing right now and that I should focus on trying to get better, no matter how much we have to spend or sacrifice. Love you, babe.

• Find time to take my dog to get her vaccine. Which is a huge drama. Our vet described her as a “difficult patient” because last time she broke two muzzles, bit me and my boyfriend, ripped his jeans and 4 people were needed to complete the task of giving her the shot. I’m getting nervous just thinking about it. She also needs a bath, ideally before going to the doctor. I like a clean, good smelling pup.

• Meet up with one of my besties Rita for coffee. She used to have a job that allowed her to meet me during the day when I had a break or when some student cancelled the class and I had a little time to kill. Now she has a new job (that she loves, congratulations honey!) and is only available maybe after seven, which is difficult for me because I’m rarely done before nine. But I love her and miss her so I need to do some magic and find the time!

• Answer the emails from people asking about English lessons. I don’t know if I can take anyone else so I need to check my schedule and maybe do some adjustments to see if I can fit in more people. Again, boyfriend will murder me.

• Bake a cake that actually grows!

• Cut the sugar!

• Drink more water. During the Summer I am great with my water intake (1,5 to 2 l each day) but in Winter, I forget to drink water and only drink it when I’m really thirsty or when my throat hurts from speaking for many hours while working;

• Eat a ton of fruit and veggies. This will be easy because I grocery shopped and cooked with that in mind;

• Start a book; (reading one, not writing one. I can barely handle the blog)

• Watch some of the Oscar nominees. Please! I need this.