If We Were Having Coffee – Part II

If we were having coffee…

I’d tell you that my hair is falling like crazy. I mean, I must have lost about 50% of my hair in the past year. I had some blood work done and it turns out I have an iron deficiency, meaning I’m close to being anemic. My doctor thought that might be the cause and that an iron supplement would stop my hair loss. Nope. Keeps falling. I have a dermatology appointment booked for this week and hopefully they’ll figure it out. Should I have gone about 6 months ago? Yes, but I procrastinate.

If we were having coffee…

I’d tell you I’m sort of suffering from adult acne. I never had any pimples as a teenager but I’ve been getting them for the past couple of months, mostly on my forehead. It’s not bad, just a few here and there (except for that one time a couple of months ago when it looked like I was having an allergic reaction which coincided with my first makeup trial for my wedding) but it bothers me that my skin is changing right now, at 27.

If we were having coffee…

I’d tell you that my best friend and maid of honor (sort of, that’s not exactly what we call it here, it’s like you have a pair of godparents for the bride and another for the groom. She’s my “bridal godmother”) is coming here to visit in June (she lives in Vienna and I never get to see her) and I can’t wait. I’m so excited and wish June would just hurry up and get here. She’s one of my absolute favorite people in the whole world and I miss her so much.

If we were having coffee…

I’d tell you Rui and I are attending a wedding in May and are very exciting. We’ll be among his friends from high school whom we happen to be very close with right now (life is very funny because we all ended up living in the same city, which is about 300 km away from where they all went to high school) so it will be so much fun. I should say they’re my friends too, otherwise they get mad. It’s so nice that we’ll share the year we got married with that couple.

If we were having coffee…

I’d tell you that it’s less than 6 months until our wedding. October 5th. We’re very excited. Everyone around us is very excited and looking forward to it. I’m so glad we decided to have a “big” wedding. I thought I’d be fine with a very small civil ceremony but I think I’d regret not doing something more traditional.

If we were having coffee…

I’d ask you if you’re married and then I’d ask about your wedding day and hopefully get some wedding advice 🙂

Love,

Chey

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If We Were Having Coffee – Part I

If we were having coffee…

I’d tell you that I wear glasses now. Not always, but I need them to watch TV, go to the movies, drive (I don’t drive but if I did), etc. I’m short sighted and it’s not that bad but the glasses make a huge difference. First couple of times I wore them I keep taking them off and putting them on to see the difference. Literally. I think I began to see there was an issue, again literally, about 6 months ago. I could have been before that. I was at the movies and kept asking Rui if the screen was blurry or unfocused. It looked fine to him. Then it started to get worse while watching a movie or a TV show at home. Everything was blurry, even faces. And God help me if any letters or signs came on the screen. Then I was at work and it was hard to focus someone’s face at a distance. I could see them but their face was a blur. Same for street signs. I could go on. A couple of weeks ago I finally got tested and they confirmed I needed glasses. What a HUGE difference it makes. Do I think I look good wearing glasses? I mean, I don’t know yet. It’s weird. They keep getting dirty and I’m kind of obsessed with them being spotless. Rui thinks I’m crazy and that I’m going to end up scratching them from cleaning them too much.

Yes, I’m wearing pajamas. Don’t judge

If we were having coffee…

I’d tell you that I quit sugar. I won’t eat anything with added sugar or add sugar to my coffee or tea. I do eat sweeteners because I’m not that good. I have a major sweet tooth. I’ve had a slip up or two but one of them was accidental. I had no idea my stevia had added sugar. WTF? It’s very hard to be sugar free, honestly. Not in the sense that I’m constantly craving it because it has been easier than I thought but it’s definitely harder to find food you can eat. Your options get pretty limited. EVERYTHING has sugar. Why does BREAD need sugar? We are lucky that our bread, Portuguese bread, is not that sweet so we can find a few varieties with no sugar added but in general, most bread contains sugar. I’ve been getting creative and trying to come up with sweets and desserts with no sugar, using vanilla extract, applesauce, ripe bananas, coconut milk and cinnamon to add flavor. Sometimes I do use some sweetener as a substitute for sugar because again, most recipes ask for sugar. I’ve actually been trying to cook a lot more lately. Would you like a list of recipes? Some of them I find online and adapt, others I kind of make up myself. I’ve discovered this very easy 2 ingredient pizza dough: Flour and plain Greek yogurt. The pizza (I made the sauce too) turned out pretty yummy.

If we were having coffee…

I’d tell you that I began having my eyebrows threaded and I’m never going back! It’s the perfect method for me. It’s relatively painless (definitely less painful than wax or tweezers), natural and they look so perfect and well defined. The lady I go to is awesome! She has being doing this for 10 years and she only charges 8€. I had never tried it before because I thought it would be too expensive but I’m so glad I did.

Awkward photo so I can show you my eyebrows…

If we were having coffee…

I’d tell you I’ve been getting gel nails and it’s great. I bite my nails to the bone and they look so miserable all the time. Even when I paint them they still end up in my mouth. It’s a horrible habit and this seems to be the perfect solution for me. They last 3-4 weeks, they’re not terribly expensive and my hands look so much better. I instantly feel like a lady and more put together. I feel way more confident if my nails are done. It’s the third time I’ve got them done and they look more natural each time because my nails can grow freely since I’m not munching on them.

First time – I may or may not be sitting on the toilet here.

Second time – Looks kind of black but it is dark blue

Now – That’s my driver’s hand. I’m marrying him.

Now – The red is slightly sparkly but my shitty iPhone SE didn’t pick that up

If we were having coffee…

I’d tell you that we got our wedding bands last week. I absolutely love them!! I can’t wait to marry the love of my life so we can wear them together, even tough Rui has this phobia of getting a ring stuck on his finger and having to get his whole arm amputated. Or both arms. I’m serious, the guy can’t even try on a ring without asking “what if it doesn’t come off????” Now he’s gonna kill me because I’m sharing too much. Or maybe he won’t because if he tries I’ll put a very tight ring on each one of his fingers and watch him cry and call emergency services. Phobias are weird, aren’t they? I’m always afraid I’m gonna fall in the shower and die. I’m not 80 years old, but still. Don’t like to shower when I’m home alone.

I won’t show you our wedding rings yet so here, take a photo of our pupper begging for the hamburgers I was making for dinner.

If we were having coffee…

I’d tell you that between November 27th and today, I’ve read 41 books. I’m currently reading book 42 and 43 (yes, at the same time). I’m so in love with reading right now. My goal for 2019 is 100 books and I’ve only read 24 so far. Better hurry. Do you follow me on Goodreads? https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/25856029-cheila-cruz 

A few favorites from the past couple of weeks:

If we were having coffee…

I’d tell you about the movies I’ve watched lately and ask if  you’d seen any of them. If you’d like to check how I rated them you can follow me on Letterboxd: Chey23

Finally,

If we were having coffee…

I’d ask you to tell me all about you. What’s happening, what you’ve been doing, how’s life, what’s making you happy or sad. I’d ask all the things. I’d love it if you’d share what you’ve been up to in the comments.

This post is now longer than I intended. Anyways, if you do get to finish it, thank you for coming by and putting up with my randomness.

Love,

Chey

***All book and movie covers were stolen from google images***

***Spelling mistakes may be present because I don’t have glasses for my brain***

 

On Deleting Social Media

Good morning everyone!

I know I haven’t written in the longest time. Some of you might not even remember or follow me anymore. I want you to know that I miss you and think about blogging every single day. So much has happened. I’ve changed jobs again, not by choice, but it ended up being a blessing in disguise. We have set a wedding date too. I want to tell you all about it, all of it. But there’s just so much to say and I’m both busy and lazy and overwhelmed by how long it has been and all the changes. I’m also embarrassed because I haven’t been following your blogs at all, shame on me.

Anyway, I’m off topic here. I came to tell you about a decision I made yesterday, while in bed, before I fell asleep. I currently work in a PCI environment, meaning no phones or paper or anything that could potentially mean an information leak. Being without my phone for 8 hours feels extremely liberating. Honestly. I know some people can’t do it or get anxiety over it but I love it. I find myself not even bothering to check it at breaks or paying that much attention to it during lunchtime. When I do, however, there’s a ton of Facebook and Instagram scrolling to be done. I’ve realized I am spending a lot of my downtime just lurking around social media, because I don’t even post that much anymore. That is precious time I could spend reading blogs or books or news or doing anything but looking at pictures I even forget to like. Also, I’m no longer particularly fond of the attention nor do I need the validation of likes or selfies or filters. That’s not how I want to live my life.

I’ve only temporarily deactivated Facebook and Instagram because there’s memories there and I could change my mind eventually. I’ve permanently deleting Snapchat. As for Twitter, I’ve just realized I forgot about it. I haven’t gone there in a long time but I might just temporarily deactivate it as well. Do I want people to remember my birthday because Facebook tells them to? No. Those who matter, know my birthday. As for events, I told my friends and coworkers that they have to invite me personally or through messenger or WhatsApp (which I’m obviously keeping).

Keep in mind I’m not saying this is the right way to live. This is what’s right for me, right now. It feels awesome. But I might learn that I cannot live without social media or miss it terribly. I know for sure I’ll learn something.

Rui says I’m now on some list because it looks like I’m trying to disappear so my FBI agent and Mark Zuckerberg are now trying to understand what I might have done haha.

I would love for you to share your thoughts on social media. What’s your relationship with it right now?

Do you have any posts on this topic? If so, please leave your links in the comment section so we can all read it and discuss different views and opinions.

Thank you so much for stopping by.

Love, Cheila.

If we were having coffee…

I don’t think I’ve done one of these before, so I thought I might do one now because we do need to catch up, so we might as well do it over coffee, right?

If we were having coffee…

It would have to be iced. We’re going through a major heat wave right now and I might not make it through the record breaking temperatures. I don’t do well with hot weather at all, so I’m going through hell. My feet and ankles are extremely swollen by noon, I got this weird sweat burns under my boobs, sort of like a diaper rash but under my breasts. It burns like a motherfucker. On top of that, I have this small heat rash on my chest and tummy, very itchy. Good genes here. Send help.

If we were having coffee…

I would tell you, after trying my hardest not to talk about it, that I’m having some family issues that are affecting my health. I don’t deal well with conflict and I can’t stand the suffering of those I love, so I can’t keep my balance when something happens to someone close to me. This situation that I won’t get into has triggered my anxiety, something I hadn’t had to deal in many months. My doctor has chosen to increase one of my meds until I learn to deal with what is going on. She says I’m doing well except for this episode and that we only need to keep an eye on my health once fall comes because it is a difficult time for those who suffer from bipolar disorder.

If we were having coffee…

I’d tell you I love my job. I’ve met great people and laugh all day long. It’s pretty easy and the day goes by very quickly. I leave at 5, when it’s still really nice outside.

If we were having coffee…

I’d talk about how much I wanna throw half of our things away. We own too much stuff and I’m so tired of seeing junk everywhere. It’s harder to clean and it stresses me out just by looking at it. I’ve been getting rid of things every time I clean and it feels great to simplify.

If we were having coffee…

I’d mention how I wish I was reading more. I haven’t been reading at all. I would then ask you if you’re reading anything good at the moment.

I’d talk about shows, I do love my shows. I’ve been watching The Affair and Sharp Objects and wanting to get into Orange is the New Black. I’d want to know what you’re watching.

I’d definitely talk about my podcasts. I listen to at least one episode every night. We would end up talking about true crime which might freak you out a little if you’re not into it.

If we were having coffee…

I’d tell you how much I miss blogging and everyone and how bad I feel for slacking. We’d talk about blogging and everyone we know.

What would you tell me if we were having coffee?

I miss you.

Love,

Chey.

It’s World Book Day! So, tell me about your favorite books and a story about you and a book.

Book suggestions wanted!!

Bonus points if you tell me how this book makes you feel and a story about you and a book.

Mine:

– I remember I was reading Emma by Jane Austen when I met Rui. We’d text back and forth so those pages were filled with excitement and texting breaks.

– When we started dating, I was reading The Catcher in The Rye and I remember sitting at the cafe, half paying attention to it, because I was so nervous, waiting for him to meet me.

Your turn!

xx

Things I Always Carry in my Bag

We all know someone who always seems to carry way too much, like they are on an overnight trip instead of a regular work day. They pretty much carry 1/3 of their house inside their bags and they are the person you turn to when you need a painkiller or a tissue or a tampon. They’re often called “the mom” or “the pharmacy” and we should all have someone like that in our circle because they’re just pretty handy, aren’t they? For me that person is, well… myself. And that’s why I decided to share what I always carry in my bag.

• Drugs. Not the good kind.

I always keep my prescription pills on me, in case I forget to take them in the morning or if I just happen to need them. Other than those I keep:

1. Imodium Rapid – In case diarrhea happens. No one wants to go through that at work or a public bathroom.
2. Omeprazole – Stomach issues.
3. Paracetamol – In case I have a headache.
4. Metoclopramide – In case I get nauseous, so I won’t vomit all over everyone and everything.

• Band-aids.

I might cut myself, bite my nails a bit too much or get blisters because I wore a painful pair of shoes, you just never know.

• Baby wipes.

Not proud of this one. They’re so great but so wasteful and not environment friendly at all. But I am make a mess pretty often and they’re perfect to clean makeup, food, wipe hands, mouth, laptop, phone, questionable looking tables, and their primary function, wiping your privates after you use the bathroom.

• Period products.

I’m a pad girl so I carry pads at all times but I also keep tampons on me because 1. everyone else seems to use tampons but carry none, 2. I swim. I used to carry an extra pair of panties because shit (I mean, blood, I don’t shit myself. Yet) happens and you never know.

• Deodorant.

Self-explanatory, I might need to reapply or freshen up.

• Travel size perfume.

No need to explain this one either.

• Makeup bag.

I often put my makeup on in the car so I carry most of my makeup (which is not much at all) in my purse. I’ve been carrying an extra palette too because it has lovely eye shadows and blushes and lip colors.

• Pocket mirror.

To apply said makeup.

• Several packs of tissues.

There’s always a runny nose.

• Phone + headphones + charger.

Obviously.

• Planner.

I need to write everything down. I’m nothing if I don’t have my planner.

• Notebook.

If I need to, you know, take notes.

• Two Pen cases.

Please let me explain. One carries regular stuff: pencils, pens, eraser, pencil sharpener, mechanical pencils, correction tape, highlighters, colored pens, stickers, clips, post-its, and glue. The other carries my pack of 25 stabilo pens.

• Extra pen.

Just in case.

• Extra extra pen.

Just in case.

• Water.

I get thirsty. I think pretty much everyone carries water, right? Except for my students. They come from their break and 10 minutes later they are asking to go drink some water, threatening to die of thirst.

• Food.

Usually lunch. Always snacks. Cereal bars, crackers, some fruit, sandwiches, whatever I can find and/or fit in there.

• Wallet.

Obviously.

• Coin purse.

Obviously.

• Sunglasses.

Which I mostly forget to wear.

• Keys.

I like to be able to get inside my house.

• Face cream.

Which I usually apply in the car/bus because I always seem to live in a hurry.

• Hand cream.

Very dry hands. All the time.

• Gum and/or mints.

My mouth gets dry and I also just like to chew on something.

• A book.

Unless I’m reading something on Kindle.

• Old receipts/lost coins/lost rings/lost earrings/trash.

Because I’m a cliché.

What about you? Do you carry too much or just the essencials? What do you always carry?

Write a comment or a post telling us what you carry in your bag and link back to me. 

Sorry I’m not there!

Hey everyone,

I’ve been thinking about myself as a blogger. A lot actually.

I know I’ve been absent. For a long time too. I miss you. I miss the time when I used to know you all so well and talk to you daily. I miss reading every post and comment as much as I could. I feel like things still go on but I’m no longer a part of them. I really miss everyone and my blogger family. I really want to be more present.

I really just want to say how sorry I am and how much I miss everyone.

Love,

Cheila.

P.S. Because it gets so overwhelming and I might miss most things, leave me the links to your most recent posts down below. Anything you might want to share, really.

My Oscar History – Getting Robbed Since 2015 #justiceforcheila + Share your opinions: Let’s Talk Cinema

Good morning everyone!

It’s 09.43 as I’m starting this post and I didn’t sleep at all last night. No, it wasn’t insomnia. It was OSCARS NIGHT. If you know me half well you know how much I live love The Oscars.

The first time any kind of movie award caught my attention was back in 2013. I had loved movies all my life, way before that, but I was taking cinema classes in college so I became interested in awards, actors and technical aspects. I’m not sure I actually watched the ceremony in 2013 but I know I was really happy thatArgowon.

Now, 2014 was a turning point. I had done so much research for the whole of 2013 and was way more into the whole Oscar phenomenon. I had watched all the films and was rooting for 12 Years a Slave, which ended up winning Best Picture. I was very happy with the winners of Best Actor in a Leading Role and Best Actor in a Supporting Role, Matthew McConaughey and Jared Leto for Dallas Buyers Club. In my opinion, all of the movies were really good that year. Here’s the full list of nominees:

86th Academy Awards Nominees

By 2015, I was addicted. It had become my thing. It was also the first time I felt deceived. Oh yes. I was rooting for either The Imitation Game, The Theory of Everything or Boyhood. Wonderful movies. I mean, I had three favorites, it’s not like I would be disappointed, would I? Wrong. Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)took the Oscar for Best Picture. Okay. But why? I was happy that Eddie Redmayne won Best Actor for The Theory of Everything because, let’s face it, he played a damn good Stephen Hawking. Julliane Moore took the Award for Best Actress with Still Alice which was well deserved. Still, my heart broke a little.

2016 came and my dreams were shattered once again. There were so many good movies. I mean, I did like Spotlight, the winner. But it’s not the one I would have picked. There was Room, The Revenant, The Martian, Brooklyn, Bridge of Spies, The Big Short. I felt like there were better choices for Best Picture. Thank God Leonardo DiCaprio won Best Actor in a Leading Role, FINALLY, otherwise I would have lost my shit! Although I do think Eddie Redmayne should have won again, for his brilliant performance in The Danish Girl. He would have won two years in a row, which would have been awesome. But Leo deserved that Oscar. He froze his ass in Canada to film The Revenant. I mean, he had been freezing his ass since Titanic and no Oscar. He got inside a friggin horse. It was his.

2017 was a weird year for me. I had seen all of the movies and was really excited but fell asleep before the ceremony. It was actually a blessing, otherwise I might have had a stroke because of the “La La Land… Fuck no… Moonlight” incident. I was obviously rooting for La La Land and the disappointment would be too hard to take after that false alarm. The other films were all really good, though, the best being Hacksaw Ridge, in my opinion.

So you have probably realized by now how I’ve been robbed since 2015, haven’t you? So unfair. Well, this year was no different. I was feeling pretty confident that Timothée Chalamet would win Best Actor. Nope. That dude who played Churchill in The Darkest Hour (A.k.A Dunkirk number 2) took Oscar home. Well, that was sad. Fortunately, Best Picture was still to come and I was fine with either Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri or Call Me By Your Name. I was so wrong. The Shape of fuck a fish won instead. I mean… How? Why? I feel empty inside. How could they do this to me?? You do understand why I’m so upset don’t you? Thank you.

Yeah, I just needed to vent and share this long, sad story. The Oscars are probably the reason I take so much medication. It’s too much too handle. Year after year. I guess I’ll just go and cry in a corner now, maybe listen to the La La Land soundtrack and try to feel better. There’s always 2019. No one is getting my Oscar next year.

Tell me guys,

Does anyone share my disappointment?

Are you a cinema lover?

What’s your favorite movie ever?

How do you feel about the Oscars?

Did you watch any of this year’s nominees?

Were you rooting for a film/actor?

xx

Daily Planner and Journal – 05.02.2018: Trying to bring it back (about 8 hours late) + weekend

Good afternoon guys,

How are you facing Monday?

It’s a hard one right?

• Hangover from drinking while watching Super Bowl?
• Depressed because of THAT This is Us episode?
• Shocked/ecstatic because Kylie Jenner has given birth?
• All of the above?

Right.

May your coffee be strong and your chocolate be plenty.

I’m actually fine. I don’t care for the Super Bowl, I haven’t watched THAT episode yet (Lord help me) and I’ve been googling “Kylie Jenner pregnant” every day since September, waiting for news so I’m pretty satisfied. I’m not joking about the google part.

I really want to go back to my early morning planning and before bed journaling and update on how my day went and how I tackled my to-do list. I know you guys enjoy it and I feel more organized when I do so.

I would like the planning to be published at about 8 a.m and the update to go up at about 8 p.m. it would be nice to have somewhat of a schedule. I hope I can pull it off.

About the weekend: I did nothing. I was expecting it so I am fine with it. I needed a break. For real.

I have this huge freelance writing project to finish until the end of the week so I’m working on that.

I’m so much better than last week, thankfully.

See you soon, guys.

❤️

About the weekend + the shitty week + heartbreak

Hey guys,

Happy Tuesday. Better than Monday right? Well, not for me. I’m having the shittiest week and yes, I know the whole week will be shitty and it’s only Tuesday.

I had THE WORST day yesterday. I can’t really get into details for privacy reasons (not mine, I’m not exactly a private person). Family issues just suck in general but even more so when someone you’re close to and someone you’ve known for your whole life and done EVERYTHING for, turns out to be very different than the person you thought you knew. Man, it hurts all over. I’ve cried my eyes out, missed work and am pretty sure I’m going to have a relapse. I thought I already knew all kinds of suffering and pain but, it turns out, there’s always a bigger, deeper one. Shit, how can I describe how much it hurts? I’m sure you all love someone with every fiber of your being. You know the feeling, right? Imagine you suddenly having reasons to doubt they love you as unconditionally as you love them. It’s life changing. It’s physically painful. They say you can’t break a broken heart but, trust me, you can. Over and over. I’m sorry I’m being so secretive, I know it’s annoying but I need to vent.

You know what’s funny? Even thought they have hurt you so deeply, you still feel bad for every little bit you might have hurt them. This person I’m talking about, I slapped them yesterday. Twice. Yes, me. I can be a bitch. They’ve hurt me so bad and I feel like the devil for those two slaps. I feel like I’ve slapped my soul. That’s how much I love them. Damn, I can’t seem to catch a fucking break.

Anyway, life goes on, I guess. I’m off to work now, there’s laundry to be done. I eat, shower, just like every day. It just hurts to work, eat and shower.

---

Let’s just get over the depressing and try to talk about normal stuff for a while, shall we? I’ll do a weekend to-do list update. Don’t expect much, we were pretty lazy.

1 PLANS FOR THE WEEKEND:

Things I must not forget:

• To drink my 1.5 to 2 l of water;

Yes.

• To eat my fruits and veggies;

Yes.

• To take my pills on time;

Yes.

• To make sure I take at least 10.000 steps. (I only aim for 5.000 on the days when I work out)

No.

• Remember to insert all of this information in my health app (including meals), which is the best thing I’ve been using ever. Lifesum

Yes.

• Go and get my eyebrows done (for crying out loud)

No.

• Cut my hair, my ends are very dry and thin.

No.

• Shaving. I’m in a public pool several times a week, they don’t need to endure hairy legs, armpits and lady bits. (I rhymed)

No.

Self-care things I would like to do:

• A green clay mask, as I haven’t done one in God knows how long.

No.

• Take 2 big nature walks with the mister and the little four-legged lady. (Probably not gonna happen, being honest here)

No.

• Do my favorite yoga routine before bed, I’ve been waking up about 3 times each night.

No.

• Do some kind of foot scrub.

No.

• Apply some clear nail polish on my nails so I won’t bite them.

No.

Things we actually need to do:

• Finish tidying up the house. We have moved the furniture we intended to, which means Rui’s desk is in the living room and I have an office space in our bedroom. Our former office is now a “closet” (Our wardrobe, shoes, bags, coats are in there) and a guest bedroom. When you make such drastic changes, objects need to be moved as well, so there are lots of clothes and random objects that need to be put away.

Kind of.

• Laundry. Besides our regular laundry, we have a few blankets, pillows and clothes for my pregnant friend that need to be washed, as well as a few sheets. We also have a ton to put away.

Yes.

• Clean the kitchen.

Kind of.

• Do some general cleaning around the house. (I’ll tell you what we got done when I do my update on Sunday)

Kind of.

• I need to move some of my plants inside because they don’t seem to like the cold and rain.

Yes.

• Rosa NEEDS to go to the vet.

No.

• We need to cook and prep for the week ahead.

Yes.

• I want to read some blogs.

Yes.

• I want to get my planner ready for the week (would you like to take a peek at my planner?)

No.

How was your weekend, people?

Hugs.

Chey.