Dear Rui,

Today marks four years since the day you asked me to be your girlfriend. We both knew we were headed in that direction since the first time we talked, didn’t we? At least I knew. There was always something about you that I couldn’t explain at the time. Four years later, I know. You’re everything I ever wished for. You’re my person. We’re very different but we share the same values, the same goals and the same heart. We fell in love with each other because both of us are everything the other was looking for in a person, that’s what we said at the time. Today, for years and a million problems later, I believe we not only want each other, but we need each other. I need you. You’re my rock, my everything. All the things I’ve been through for the past four years, good or bad, wouldn’t have been the same if I didn’t have you by my side. You make everything better.

We have certainly been through so much, especially me. You have never left my side. You have never given up on me, even when I have. You make sure that I’m safe and well taken care of and happy. You do everything for me, even if you don’t fully agree with what I’m doing. You always take my side. You always defend me. You hate people who say that depression is just being lazy and sad. You get really mad when you hear comments like that, because you know. You have been with me through it all and you know how much I suffer, so you know how serious it is. I know you suffer for me too and I love you for that.

But I would be lying if I sad I only love you because of what you are for me. I love you because you are so much more. You’re beautiful and kind-hearted and funny and so so intelligent. You know a lot about everything and you know how to do everything. If you don’t, you will find out. That’s who you are. You discover, you think, you solve problems. You’re so good at it. You’re so committed to your job, it makes me really proud of you. Everyone loves you, because you’re so special.

I love how you always tease my mother and make her laugh. She loves you. Everyone loves you. You’re that kind of person. Everyone trusts you too, because you are honest and trustworthy and you have such strong values.

My God, there’s so much to love about you. I don’t know how I ended up being so lucky. I know I am. I know most girls don’t have a Rui. You treat me like a princess, when I feel like I’m less than nothing. You love me the way I am, which I still need to find out how. I don’t know how you can love me so much. I would have given up on me by this point. But that’s not who you are. You don’t give up on things. You don’t give up on people. You don’t give up on me.

Right now, you’re willing to live with less money and take such a heavy burden so I can be home and heal. You just want me to get better and be happy, you say. You don’t care how much you spend, where you live, how much you have. You are happy if I’m well and happy, you say. How did I get so lucky? I don’t even know if I deserve it.

I thought about writing this letter because I don’t have a present for you. I know you could care less, but I need to give you something. So I write, without thinking, whatever comes from my heart. I’m sorry if it doesn’t make much sense.

I just want you to know how much I love you. It’s too much to quantify. You’re my person. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. There could never be anyone else. You’re perfect. You’re mine. I love you so much. I wish I could express it better.

I hope we have many more years together. I hope life knows how much we need each other.

Happy 4th anniversary.