Bloggers Talk About Mental Health Support Group on Facebook – Will you join us?

Bloggers Talk About Mental Health Support Group

Hello Fellow Bloggers,

I have been talking about my struggles with anxiety, depression and ,possibly, Bipolar Disorder Type II since I started this blog a year ago. I was never ashamed to put it out there. I mean, I’m lying. I was NO LONGER ashamed to put it out there. There was a lot of shame once.

There was also loneliness.

That is why I decided to start this Facebook group where we can all talk, support each other, vent, complain, share experiences and frustrations, all with people who DO understand.

I know many of you struggle with mental health issues as well, so I thought we could all be together in this. Will you be my shoulder to cry on? I will be very happy to be yours.

Look for the group, share with your friends who needed us as well.

Love you all.

Chey.

I have Great News!!

Everyone,

I just wanted to stop by and tell you that I had an appointment with my psychiatrist yesterday and she said I looked like a different person. She said I’m so much better and that she was very happy to see me. She reduced my medication and so I’m no longer on Bupropion and Mexazolam, which I have been taking for the longest time.

I’m just so happy about this.

It’s the first time I’ve seen a real improvement and reduction on my medication, after years of increasing it, changing it, trial and error. I’ve been dealing with anxiety and depression since I was 18. I was diagnosed and first medicated at 22. I’ve been through 2 psychiatrists, 5 therapists and I know 75% of antidepressants, mood stabilizers and anti anxiety pills on the market.

I wish I didn’t have so much information. But since I do, I need to make sure I share it with others. And I promise you I’ll do that. For those of you who are still struggling, I’ll share my detailed experience and do my best to help.

Today, I just want to tell you it’s possible to get better. I’m not cured and I don’t know when/if I’ll ever be, but I’m finally so much better.

Trust me, I have seen the darkest side of life. I’ve felt it. I’ve lived with a huge cloud over my head for years. I’ve been through life carrying a backpack full of rocks for way too long. I’ve hated myself, everyone else, life itself. Everything has seemed pointless. Everyone has looked like an enemy. Death has been a wish.

I know it’s difficult and sometimes unfair/hard to compare, but I can tell you I had one of the most serious and difficult cases of clinical depression. I know quite a few people who have suffered from depression and they all got better so much easily, faster, sooner. That was frustrating and I would get angry because I seemed to have it worse than everyone else. I actually did. Years of extreme stress, heartbreak, responsibilities, growing up too fast, taking care of others, being strong for them, a bad childhood, among other things had collapsed on me, so I was dealing with 20 something years worth of trauma, damage, exhaustion. I wasn’t having an episode of depression. I was having THE episode of depression I had been holding inside me forever. It hit me hard, with no mercy.

God knows how much I’ve been through because of my mental health.

God knows how much Rui has been through because of it.

That guy is a saint.

I don’t say this because I love him, I say this because I know him. He is a rock. He’ll take care of you, provide you with whatever you need, comfort you, be there for you emotionally, know how to handle an anxiety attack, do extensive research on all of your medications, make sure you take care of yourself, cook for you, clean for you, understand when you simply cannot get out of bed, cuddle you, give you hope, say you’re beautiful when you’ve put on 60 pounds, make you laugh when you really want to cry, protect you, tell you you’ll find the best possible doctor and care, no matter how much you’ll have to spend or how you’re going to find the money for, do his best to make you smile, be your shoulder to cry on, defend you, tell people who think “depression is in your head” they’re fucking idiots and ignorants who should go and get some information, be your mother’s best friend, your sister’s big brother, be there for your appointments, get you the things you like because they’ll make you a little happy, get really angry at you because you don’t eat properly, be your absolute best friend, caretaker, boyfriend, husband, lover, confidant, partner, fan, the one who makes up for whatever is missing.

I think everyone should have someone like Rui in their lives.

We’ve been through thick and thin and we’re still together. We’ve really been through some real “grown up” problems for the past 5 years we’ve been together. There was never cheating, jealousy, cellphone checking, lying, issues with exes. We’ve been dealing with real, hard, old married couple problems since we were about 22 and 22, up until now. I guess we’ve passed the test.

What I really want to say is, I’m not cured. I may never be. I don’t mind really, as long as I have the proper care. But today, finally, I can say that I am far BETTER. Better is a beautiful word. So I’m happy about better. Better is more than enough.

Thank you for everything, guys.

If you’re going through a similar journey, we’re together. Talk to me. Let me be there for you.

Daily Planner and Journal – 05.02.2018: Trying to bring it back (about 8 hours late) + weekend

Good afternoon guys,

How are you facing Monday?

It’s a hard one right?

  • Hangover from drinking while watching Super Bowl?
  • Depressed because of THAT This is Us episode?
  • Shocked/ecstatic because Kylie Jenner has given birth?
  • All of the above?

Right.

May your coffee be strong and your chocolate be plenty.

I’m actually fine. I don’t care for the Super Bowl, I haven’t watched THAT episode yet (Lord help me) and I’ve been googling “Kylie Jenner pregnant” every day since September, waiting for news so I’m pretty satisfied. I’m not joking about the google part.

I really want to go back to my early morning planning and before bed journaling and update on how my day went and how I tackled my to-do list. I know you guys enjoy it and I feel more organized when I do so.

I would like the planning to be published at about 8 a.m and the update to go up at about 8 p.m. it would be nice to have somewhat of a schedule. I hope I can pull it off.

About the weekend: I did nothing. I was expecting it so I am fine with it. I needed a break. For real.

I have this huge freelance writing project to finish until the end of the week so I’m working on that.

I’m so much better than last week, thankfully.

See you soon, guys.

❤️

Sort of Health Update – Anxiety and Depression

Hey everyone,

I have an hour and a half before I need to work so I thought I might drop a few updates in the form of random paragraphs, I guess. I haven’t really talked about my life, which I used to do every single day for many months. Speaking about months, this month my blog turns 1. What? How did that happen? I clearly remember the day I sat down an wrote my very first post, thinking no one would ever read it. How has it been a year already? My blog’s anniversary is on the 24th. What do you think I should do?

  • Blog party?
  • Massive giveaway?
  • Re-post my favorite posts from this first year?

I just have no idea. I’ve done all of those in the past, to celebrate months and followers and all kinds of milestones and happy occasions. For my blog’s first anniversary I’m out of ideas so I could use a little help.

Anyway,

My anxiety and depression have had ups and downs. I’ve been doing well, most of the time and I do feel better. There were some moments when I had to deal with very complicated situations which caused some minor relapses.

Christmas was very hard. As you know, some of my family members are batshit crazy and that can be a problem. I think you may also know that my grandmother has dementia and, on Christmas eve, she didn’t remember who I was for the first time and was acting very confused in general, which left us heartbroken.

I take those things pretty hard and I’ve yet to go back to my “before Christmas” self. What does this mean for me? I’ve been sad, off-balance, nervous, stopped writing, reading and watching movies and shows. I prefer to listen to podcasts, they’re just easier.

Just before Christmas, when I was feeling really well, my doctor decided to increase my medication for some reason, which was a very bad idea. I was suddenly taking twice the dosage of Bupropion (300 mg), some crazy pill that was supposed to stop my hands from shaking (which I didn’t want to take because if I start taking medication to control my side effects from my other medication I’ll be eating pills instead of food pretty soon) but didn’t (I can’t remember the name) and this Topiromate to decrease my appetite.

Pretty soon I was feeling extremely weak, dizzy, nauseous and sleepy all the time, but especially after I took my medication. I was feeling very sick and kept waiting (too long) for it to go away. When it didn’t, I scheduled a doctor’s appointment and she decided some of them were lowering my blood pressure and causing my symptoms. I went back to taking only 150 g of Bupropion and I’m free of the one for the tremors. It took me just a few days to feel so much better.

I have no idea why she decided to increase my medication when I was feeling so well.

I’m trying to get back to where I was before all of this crap. Going to water aerobics classes, swimming, trying to establish a routine, trying not to care about stupid shit (very difficult for me) and such. I think I’m getting back on track and will be feeling like myself soon.

I guess that’s pretty much it, the short version.

How about you?

Any health issues lately? You can share, even if it’s just a nasty cold or a backache.

Talk to you soon, hopefully.

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Daily Planner and Journal: August 25,2017 (Warning: Game of thrones spoilers. If you haven’t watched anything after season 3 don’t read this)

Hey guys,

How is everyone doing?

I thought I’d do a little update, as I’m still not as present as I would like to be.

I had a psychiatrist’s appointment yesterday and she said she’s happy with my development and that I’m doing better. The only issue has been my sleep. I either sleep for 16 hours straight or can’t sleep at all for 2 days.

Does any of you share my sleeping problems?

She has changed my medication, though and I’ve slept well tonight. No dreams, and no waking up in the middle of the night. Plus, I woke up feeling rested, which hasn’t happen in a very long time.

I’ve been doing laundry and dishes (just putting them on the dishwasher and put them away once they’re dry. It’s very hot here today, which is great because the laundry dries in just about 2 hours or less.

I’ve also spent a few hours working on some virtual assistant work and have finished a few tasks. I love that I can work online, from home and make money.

I’ve been on Amazon looking for a birthday present for Rui and I think I’ve found the right one, which was on sale. I was able to find a discount code too. I’m feeling very lucky today because of that haha.

I called my boss to know when I’m supposed to start working and she said we have an important meeting on the 31st and then we probably start at September 4. I’m very excited.

Yesterday I bought a 16-month amazing planner. I’ve never had one for that long and didn’t even know they existed until recently. It’s kind of academic planner and it goes from the August 28, 2017 to December 31, 2018.

Do you use a planner? What kind of planner do you use? Do you write things on your phone? I could never, I need to actually write things down. I’m a pen and paper kind of girl.

I have scheduled my gynecologist’s and I’m also going to see an orthopedist for my back. They do hurt sometimes and I can’t sleep because of it sometimes. I can no longer tolerate my mattress from my old room at my mother’s house. I slept there for years and now I just can’t take a nap there because the mattress is too soft and it makes my back here. It has started to hurt in my own bed too so it’s time to see a doctor. I’ve seen many doctors about my back, since I was very young. They all say the same: “You need to swim regularly, that’s the best for your back”. I bet I’m going to get the same answer.

I’ve finished watching both The White Queen (Reign of King Edward III (House of York) and his wife Elizabeth, among the rest of the plot) and The White Princess (Their daughter Elizabeth, who marries king Henry VII, a Tudor.

Now I’m going to watch The Tudors, where their son Henry VII is ruling England.

I not only watch a bunch of period shows, I also watch them in an order that will make sense historically, hahaha.

Oh, and Game of Thrones is just so good. This season has been a great one. Who else would like Sansa to end up keeping her marriage to Tyrion? I liked them as a couple and would love it if she fell in love with him. I’m patiently awaiting their reunion.

Now I’m off to do more laundry, make dinner and cleanup a little around the house.

What are you up to today?

Talk to you all soon.

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P.S. Yesterday was my 7-month blog anniversary. Happy anniversary to us.

P.S.S. Would would like to do a few book reviews on Amazon for me in exchange for free Kindle books? Email me.

Health for days journey – July 7th (soy milk can go to hell and so can my panties edition)

Dearest friends,

You have no idea the atrocity I’ve been through.

In an attempt to quit dairy, I decided to switch cow’s milk for a healthier option. I can go on without butter, cheese, yogurt but not milk. I need it for my coffee. So I first tried almond milk and hated it. So I thought I would try soy milk. It’s so popular, so many people like it, I’m sure I will. What a huge mistake. I tried it as soon as I got home and you have no idea the face I made. It’s just horrible. I can’t even keep it in my mouth. But I decided to give it a second chance and thought “I might not feel the taste with my coffee”. Oh, how wrong I was. I can taste that shit even with really strong coffee. I couldn’t even take a third sip. Screw you, soy milk!! Now, what are my options? I’ve tried rice milk a few years ago and it tastes like you have just boiled rice in some water, filtered the water and it suddenly turns into milk. Just unacceptable! I might cry. I guess I’m left with oats and spelt. Oh my. What shall I do? I need my milk. Can I get away with skimmed, lactose-free milk? It’s still cows milk. Help?

Anyway, remember the panties I bought yesterday? Most of them don’t fit and I can’t return them. The biggest number they had was L/XL which is kind of stupid because there’s a big difference between and L and an XL. In other places, I currently go for an L. They fit well and comfortably, becoming a little to big for me with time. So I though, okay, L/XL it is. THEY DON’T FIT ME AT ALL. It’s not like they’re a little tight or that their elastic hurts me. They really don’t fit. I know I’m overweight but I’m not that big to wear an XXL (yet). Nothing wrong with big numbers, everyone has a different body and a right to find good quality, comfortable clothes. I would never mind going up to an XXL in this store, even though I know it would be too big for me in other places. As long as I’m comfy and I like the product I don’t mind going up one, two or three sizes at all. No taboo there.

I’m a size 42, which means UK 14 and US 12, the equivalent to an L. To need an XL I would have to be a size 46 (44 is still large), UK 18 and US 16. So I went up two sizes and they didn’t fit at all. I believe they wouldn’t even fit my mom, a size 38/40 or 10/12 (UK) or 8/10 (US). So, you can see how ridiculously small they are. Anyway. You know this happens as well as I do, we’ve all been through this with smaller or bigger sizes.

Well, I should go and get some studying done.

Love talking to you guys.

xx

Health for days journey – July 6th (update)

Hey guys,

I’m back to tell you about my day. I couldn’t nap at all but couldn’t do much either, because I am so sleep deprived.

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I managed to do three things: I called Starbucks (they didn’t answer), I made a doctor’s appointment (27th of July) and texted my psychiatrist and she called me to ask me about my sleeping (or not sleeping) situation and to tell me what I should do.

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I tried to watch Casablanca but it was not very easy to… *coughs* illegally download from the internet. It was on YouTube but it was taking a lifetime to buffer so I had to give up. I’m gonna watch Memento with Rui right now while we eat dinner and relax.

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We went to town because we needed to go to the bank and to buy underwear for both. We were both in need and I kept telling him but he forgets/ignores whatever I say that involves shopping. Anyway, we had fun as I picked boxers for him and he picked panties for me. I choose colorful, fun and comfortable for him, he chose what he thought might look sexy on me. Men.

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We brought oven pizza for dinner because we’re having a cheat dinner (not a whole cheat day as we both ate very well today). I bought soy milk and OMG, that shit is bad. It tastes like water mixed with dog food and toothpaste. I hope my coffee can hide the taste. giphy (11)

So sorry, I’m into GIFs today. See you tomorrow?

xx

Health for days journey – July 6th (Insomnia edition)

Hello everyone,

How are you this Thursday? I hope this week has been nice to you.

My American people, are you cured from your 4th of July hangover or/and food comma? I really hope so.

Remember a few days ago when I said I was sleeping so well? I think I have spoken too soon. The night before the last I couldn’t sleep at all and was extremely tired so I thought I would stay in bed longer and take a big nap. Didn’t happen. I couldn’t sleep during the night and no nap during the day. By dinner time I was so exhausted I took my pills and took one more, as my psychiatrist said I should when I’m not able to sleep. So I took an extra pill, went to bed at 9 p.m, which hadn’t happen since I was in high school, and immediately fell asleep. Until I woke up at 1 a.m and could no long longer sleep. I was really surprised. I had taken an extra pill. One is pretty strong, two are supposed to really make you rest. I have no idea what happen. So I spent another night tossing and turning and with awful back pain because of it and bothering poor Rui because he’s a light sleeper. Before living for work, he had to apply one of those hot plasters on my back (the ones that stick to your skin). I tried to sleep after he left with no success. At least my back is way better. I will have to call my doctor about the sleep issues, though.

Sorry about my sleepless rant, guys. You know I share everything with you. The house (especially kitchen and bathroom) is in such desperate need of a clean and I don’t have the energy because I haven’t slept in two days. I might force myself anyway. Unless I feel I can take a nap, then I will definitely sleep, before I go crazy lol

Anyway, let’s stop the complaining and be positive!

I’ve been so good with my diet and my water intake. 2 l most days, which is great and really good for me. I’ve been cutting carbs. Not giving up on them, I know I need them, just eating small amounts. I’ll add about 4 crackers to my lunch or eat some rice for dinner or a slice of bread. I’ve been cutting dairy, limiting myself to plain Greek yogurt and a little milk for my coffee sometimes. I’ve been cutting on coffee as well. I don’t eat a lot of meat (I never did, actually) and cut way back on sugar. I’m really happy about it because I never had it so easy when it comes to changing my eating habits. I mean, if I’m on my period, it’s just impossible. I could eat all day, the most random things. All of this to say that I’m proud of myself for this changes.

What else? Oh, remember I told you I wanted to be at 300 followers on Instagram by the end of July? Don’t think it’s going to happen. There’s those people who keep following and unfollowing, I’ve been at 279 or 281 several times and then I’m down again, currently at 276. At such pace, I’m sure I’ll get there in about… 2 years. People just follow to get a follow back but I don’t do that shit so, let them be jerks.

I’ve been lacking on my exercise. Unless you count household chores and the day that I went swimming. I’m also behind on my cleaning schedule and movie a day challenge but I’m fine with it. As long as I finish them by the end of the month.

My to-do list for today should be:

  • Clean kitchen
  • Clean bathroom
  • Put the covers I recently washed back on the couch
  • Listen to some music
  • Do a little coloring
  • Call Starbucks because they messed my gift card order
  • Make a doctor’s appointment
  • Text my psychiatrist
  • Read for 30 minutes
  • Do some gardening (but it’s super windy and kind of rainy so I don’t know)
  • Watch Casablanca and Memento.

So, what about you? Busy day?

Have you watched these movies? Lover or hate or meh?

We’ll talk later, dear friends.

xx

Chey

 

Health for days journey – June 29th (Keep up the good work edition)

Good morning everyone. I hope you’re having a lovely Thursday.

Any complaints? I hope not.

Yesterday I ended up fill up the dishwasher, doing my yoga routine (which felt amazing), taking a nice shower and listening to some guided meditation. There was no night snacking, thankfully.

That being said, my main priorities for today are:

  • Drink 2 l of water;
  • Eat well – protein, 5 portions of fruits and veggies, avoid sugar and cut carbs to about 1/3 of what you use to eat;
  • Take your meds on time;
  • Walk 1112 steps, at least. I’ve downloaded a pedometer and that is the my goal, a higher number than yesterday.
  • 10 minutes of guided meditation;
  • 30 minutes of reading;
  • 30 minutes of adult coloring;
  • 20 minutes of yoga;
  • 20 minutes of listening to music;
  • Watch a movie;

 

And my tasks – non priorities, are:

  • 1 and a half hours of gardening + half an hour of yard cleaning.
  • I need to do a few loads of laundry; And put them away immediately, before they pile up; If it doesn’t rain.
  • I really need to find a way to trick Rosa into giving her parasite medicine and cleaning her ears and teeth. I bet I won’t, she’s sneaky.
  • Empty Betty and fill her up again;
  • Clean all floors;
  • Read and comment blogs;
  • Clean kitchen;
  • Cook dinner;

 

What else can you expect today?

  • My Perfect Party Series on Life as Easy as.
  • 2 posts on Instagram;
  • 2 posts on twitter;
  • 1 post on Facebook;
  • A poll!! I haven last week);e 4 pairs of shows I was thinking on giving away. I’m not so sure now. You guys will help me decide if I keep them or donate them;
  • Part II of my dress collection + skirts.
  • An update tonight;

Have a wonderful day!!

Cheila