What’s your experience with mental illness?
Does anyone in your family suffer from such issues?
Do you deal with any mental health problems?
Would you like to share about your experiences?
❤️❤️❤️
Tag: #health for days journey
A Week in The Life Kind of Post – Updates
Last time I posted any kind of planner and journal was on Wednesday morning. As usually, I didn’t follow through with everything I had planned, but I think I got quite a few things done.
On Tuesday Evening, I promised I would show you how our dinner experiment would go and if it was tasty. Remember? Trying this Indian store bought sauce for the first time?
It was really good. Not too spicy at all. Really yummy!! Would definitely buy again. We ate it with broccoli and rice. That’s sparkling water with lemon and red currant syrup.
I had to go to work for two hours on Wednesday morning and then I came home to this:
(I mean before being folded)
And this:
Nap hard, play hard.
I then worked for a few hours and got a few other things done, before taking a break and watching an episode of a show before they boys came home.
I can’t really remember what I did on Thursday but I obviously had to work so I did that for sure. I went to hydro gymnastics on Friday morning, worked and then we went out to dinner with my friends. My pregnant friend is already showing and I’m so happy for her. We had a good time.
On Saturday, we had to get up earlier than usual because I had an appointment with my psychiatrist at 1.30. I talked about it here:
I looked like this:
That evening, we had dinner with one of Rui’s friends. I should say our friend, otherwise he’ll get pissed at me for saying he’s only friends with Rui, although they have known each other since high school. There was a game on and we watched it while having dinner.
On Sunday, we invited that same friend for coffee at our favorite cafe. Rui’s brother, Tiago, came with us this time. Rui’s friend really wanted to buy us a drink so we drove to the beach (10 minutes away) o have something.
It was a beautiful afternoon. We went grocery shopping and I making dinner while looking like Hulk.
It was really yummy!
Oh, I forgot to say, I made some spaghetti with the store bought sauce for the boys lunch and they said it was pretty good. I didn’t eat lunch so I have no idea.
Monday – I started this post, and wrote this:
I am in a good mood and feeling positive despite not sleeping a wink and having had a bad day tomorrow. My mom had to take my grandmother to the hospital yesterday. They called an ambulance and were there from 7 p.m to about 1 a.m. I wanted to go there but my mother said there was no need because only person would be able to get in and we would just be waiting outside for hours, having to get up early for work today. So we stayed home and I went to bed but I kept waking up and texting my sister and mother. My mom finally texted me saying she was home at about 2.30 in the morning and I fell asleep, but woke up several times after that.
So, about my grandmother. You know she suffers from dementia. Most of her brain cells are dead and it’s simply getting worse. She was also somewhat dehydrated. She is really thin because she has no appetite and doesn’t really feel like eating. That’s why my mother took her to the hospital. Unfortunately, there’s no getting better for her and we all need to make peace with that which is really sad. Heartbreaking. If she were to see herself now, God. But she doesn’t, which is a good thing, I guess. She can’t tell how bad she is. But we do witness everything and it hurts.
My grandfather passed away when I was 19, a week after my birthday. He was old and sick but I wasn’t expecting it. No one had ever really died. Not my people. But then he did. It was pretty traumatic, let me tell you. My family pretty much fell apart and was never the same after that. I guess he was the glue and we had never realized it.
I met my father’s mother but she was very old. She used to visit me when I was little and I think she was in her seventies. Then she passed away. I don’t remember that much about her, other than she would visit me. I never met her husband, my grandfather. He died before I was born. Everyone tells me he was extremely violent towards his wife and children, so may he rest in hell, I hope it’s warm and cozy there.
I’m closing the sad subject here.
Thank you for reading.
I was able to wake up earlier on Monday and go to the 9.15 a.m hydro fitness class. It was a lot of fun and harder than usual, which I like and my lower back didn’t.
Well, let me tell you, I’m 90% sure the teacher was high as a kite. Oh yeah. He was looking at the horizon rather than looking at us, he would smile and laugh alone and close his eyes for way too long. He was also enjoying the routine way too much. It was so funny. I’m going again next Monday to confirm if he’s a stoner or if he just looks like one.
I had plenty of veggies for lunch:
I worked, worked, worked, got home and went to sleep.
On Tuesday, I wanted to go back to the pool but was still sore so I just went to work and decided to go back on Wednesday, which I did. The class was pretty intense but with a different teacher. Because it was Wednesday, I had to wear pink:
Joking. It was a coincidence.
So, today is Thursday and I’m still sore from yesterday which feels pretty good. I stayed home and tried to sleep in because I haven’t been sleeping at all. I couldn’t get more than 30 minutes to 1 hour of uninterrupted sleep. Don’t know why.
I’m about to get to work, I’ll work from 5 to 8 and then head home.
Tomorrow I plan on going to a hydro gymnastics class and then a swim class as I’m trying to improve some techniques. I have to dedicate some hours to freelance work and then work from 5 to 8 again. We’ll have dinner with friends after work.
As promised,
Here are some pictures of my planner:
Would you be interested in a post on how I organize it? I would love to do one.
To finish, I’ll leave you with some Springy pictures. Thank you for reading.
I have Great News!!
Everyone,
I just wanted to stop by and tell you that I had an appointment with my psychiatrist yesterday and she said I looked like a different person. She said I’m so much better and that she was very happy to see me. She reduced my medication and so I’m no longer on Bupropion and Mexazolam, which I have been taking for the longest time.
I’m just so happy about this.
It’s the first time I’ve seen a real improvement and reduction on my medication, after years of increasing it, changing it, trial and error. I’ve been dealing with anxiety and depression since I was 18. I was diagnosed and first medicated at 22. I’ve been through 2 psychiatrists, 5 therapists and I know 75% of antidepressants, mood stabilizers and anti anxiety pills on the market.
I wish I didn’t have so much information. But since I do, I need to make sure I share it with others. And I promise you I’ll do that. For those of you who are still struggling, I’ll share my detailed experience and do my best to help.
Today, I just want to tell you it’s possible to get better. I’m not cured and I don’t know when/if I’ll ever be, but I’m finally so much better.
Trust me, I have seen the darkest side of life. I’ve felt it. I’ve lived with a huge cloud over my head for years. I’ve been through life carrying a backpack full of rocks for way too long. I’ve hated myself, everyone else, life itself. Everything has seemed pointless. Everyone has looked like an enemy. Death has been a wish.
I know it’s difficult and sometimes unfair/hard to compare, but I can tell you I had one of the most serious and difficult cases of clinical depression. I know quite a few people who have suffered from depression and they all got better so much easily, faster, sooner. That was frustrating and I would get angry because I seemed to have it worse than everyone else. I actually did. Years of extreme stress, heartbreak, responsibilities, growing up too fast, taking care of others, being strong for them, a bad childhood, among other things had collapsed on me, so I was dealing with 20 something years worth of trauma, damage, exhaustion. I wasn’t having an episode of depression. I was having THE episode of depression I had been holding inside me forever. It hit me hard, with no mercy.
God knows how much I’ve been through because of my mental health.
God knows how much Rui has been through because of it.
That guy is a saint.
I don’t say this because I love him, I say this because I know him. He is a rock. He’ll take care of you, provide you with whatever you need, comfort you, be there for you emotionally, know how to handle an anxiety attack, do extensive research on all of your medications, make sure you take care of yourself, cook for you, clean for you, understand when you simply cannot get out of bed, cuddle you, give you hope, say you’re beautiful when you’ve put on 60 pounds, make you laugh when you really want to cry, protect you, tell you you’ll find the best possible doctor and care, no matter how much you’ll have to spend or how you’re going to find the money for, do his best to make you smile, be your shoulder to cry on, defend you, tell people who think “depression is in your head” they’re fucking idiots and ignorants who should go and get some information, be your mother’s best friend, your sister’s big brother, be there for your appointments, get you the things you like because they’ll make you a little happy, get really angry at you because you don’t eat properly, be your absolute best friend, caretaker, boyfriend, husband, lover, confidant, partner, fan, the one who makes up for whatever is missing.
I think everyone should have someone like Rui in their lives.
We’ve been through thick and thin and we’re still together. We’ve really been through some real “grown up” problems for the past 5 years we’ve been together. There was never cheating, jealousy, cellphone checking, lying, issues with exes. We’ve been dealing with real, hard, old married couple problems since we were about 22 and 22, up until now. I guess we’ve passed the test.
What I really want to say is, I’m not cured. I may never be. I don’t mind really, as long as I have the proper care. But today, finally, I can say that I am far BETTER. Better is a beautiful word. So I’m happy about better. Better is more than enough.
Thank you for everything, guys.
If you’re going through a similar journey, we’re together. Talk to me. Let me be there for you.
Daily Planner and Journal – 05.02.2018: Trying to bring it back (about 8 hours late) + weekend
Good afternoon guys,
How are you facing Monday?
It’s a hard one right?
- Hangover from drinking while watching Super Bowl?
- Depressed because of THAT This is Us episode?
- Shocked/ecstatic because Kylie Jenner has given birth?
- All of the above?
Right.
May your coffee be strong and your chocolate be plenty.
I’m actually fine. I don’t care for the Super Bowl, I haven’t watched THAT episode yet (Lord help me) and I’ve been googling “Kylie Jenner pregnant” every day since September, waiting for news so I’m pretty satisfied. I’m not joking about the google part.
I really want to go back to my early morning planning and before bed journaling and update on how my day went and how I tackled my to-do list. I know you guys enjoy it and I feel more organized when I do so.
I would like the planning to be published at about 8 a.m and the update to go up at about 8 p.m. it would be nice to have somewhat of a schedule. I hope I can pull it off.
About the weekend: I did nothing. I was expecting it so I am fine with it. I needed a break. For real.
I have this huge freelance writing project to finish until the end of the week so I’m working on that.
I’m so much better than last week, thankfully.
See you soon, guys.
❤️
Health for days journey – July 6th (Insomnia edition)
Hello everyone,
How are you this Thursday? I hope this week has been nice to you.
My American people, are you cured from your 4th of July hangover or/and food comma? I really hope so.
Remember a few days ago when I said I was sleeping so well? I think I have spoken too soon. The night before the last I couldn’t sleep at all and was extremely tired so I thought I would stay in bed longer and take a big nap. Didn’t happen. I couldn’t sleep during the night and no nap during the day. By dinner time I was so exhausted I took my pills and took one more, as my psychiatrist said I should when I’m not able to sleep. So I took an extra pill, went to bed at 9 p.m, which hadn’t happen since I was in high school, and immediately fell asleep. Until I woke up at 1 a.m and could no long longer sleep. I was really surprised. I had taken an extra pill. One is pretty strong, two are supposed to really make you rest. I have no idea what happen. So I spent another night tossing and turning and with awful back pain because of it and bothering poor Rui because he’s a light sleeper. Before living for work, he had to apply one of those hot plasters on my back (the ones that stick to your skin). I tried to sleep after he left with no success. At least my back is way better. I will have to call my doctor about the sleep issues, though.
Sorry about my sleepless rant, guys. You know I share everything with you. The house (especially kitchen and bathroom) is in such desperate need of a clean and I don’t have the energy because I haven’t slept in two days. I might force myself anyway. Unless I feel I can take a nap, then I will definitely sleep, before I go crazy lol
Anyway, let’s stop the complaining and be positive!
I’ve been so good with my diet and my water intake. 2 l most days, which is great and really good for me. I’ve been cutting carbs. Not giving up on them, I know I need them, just eating small amounts. I’ll add about 4 crackers to my lunch or eat some rice for dinner or a slice of bread. I’ve been cutting dairy, limiting myself to plain Greek yogurt and a little milk for my coffee sometimes. I’ve been cutting on coffee as well. I don’t eat a lot of meat (I never did, actually) and cut way back on sugar. I’m really happy about it because I never had it so easy when it comes to changing my eating habits. I mean, if I’m on my period, it’s just impossible. I could eat all day, the most random things. All of this to say that I’m proud of myself for this changes.
What else? Oh, remember I told you I wanted to be at 300 followers on Instagram by the end of July? Don’t think it’s going to happen. There’s those people who keep following and unfollowing, I’ve been at 279 or 281 several times and then I’m down again, currently at 276. At such pace, I’m sure I’ll get there in about… 2 years. People just follow to get a follow back but I don’t do that shit so, let them be jerks.
I’ve been lacking on my exercise. Unless you count household chores and the day that I went swimming. I’m also behind on my cleaning schedule and movie a day challenge but I’m fine with it. As long as I finish them by the end of the month.
My to-do list for today should be:
- Clean kitchen
- Clean bathroom
- Put the covers I recently washed back on the couch
- Listen to some music
- Do a little coloring
- Call Starbucks because they messed my gift card order
- Make a doctor’s appointment
- Text my psychiatrist
- Read for 30 minutes
- Do some gardening (but it’s super windy and kind of rainy so I don’t know)
- Watch Casablanca and Memento.
So, what about you? Busy day?
Have you watched these movies? Lover or hate or meh?
We’ll talk later, dear friends.
xx
Chey
Pink for Days 