Happy Birthday to me – 26 goals for year 26 + One year challenge

Good day to you people!!

I hope everyone is having a good, stress-free, easy Monday.

As you might have noticed from the tittle, it’s my birthday.

26 years ago today (close to 5 p.m), mom was probably in a lot of pain, poor thing. Thanks mama, for pushing me out, I know it must have been hard for you, despite the fact that it was probably the only time I was ever thin.

I used to love my birthday, but I’m NOT feeling it at all this year. For several reasons:

• I’m no longer in my early twenties;
• I’m close to 30, my scary age;
• I’m NOWHERE NEAR where I thought I would be by now, if you had asked me 10 years ago.
• I had the shittiest year, 25 being extremely hard. Is it going to be over now?
• I’m still going through some of the consequences of my mental health issues, meaning I’m still a fat ass and I hate my body and can’t stand looking at myself;
• I have some small family issues, nothing to big, thankfully;
• I have lost one of my best, childhood friends, probably forever.

I told Rui that the only thing I wanted to do today was try a pumpkin spice latte and go thrift shopping. I need some cardigans. I have decided to just go to Primark to get them because it’s closer and near Starbucks.

I’m going to my mom’s house for dinner. Not feeling it at all, but I need to do it for them.

Rui always takes my birthday off and so we have enjoyed a lazy morning, talking about my birthday blues and eating my favorite cereal (me).

I still have to work from 5 p.m to 7 p.m, which I don’t mind at all. I like being with the kids, even if they drive me crazy most days.

Because 25 was so bad, I’m kind of determined to TRY and make 26 way better. I came up with a few goals and also a few challenges.

26 goals for year 26:

1. Finally get my f*cking driver’s license;
2. Finally get braces and endure all of the suffering. At least high school has been over for many years so there’s no one to make fun of me;
3. Lose the damn weight;
4. Travel somewhere; Anywhere. Just see some new place, outside the country;
5. Get into that second degree I want to take so bad; (shhh, you all know what I’m talking about but I won’t say anything so I don’t jinx it. I’ll be doing my best to accomplish this goal which is more than just a goal, but one of the things I NEED to do with my life.
6. Write an e-book. (I have, but as a ghostwriter); 
7. Double my number of followers on this blog;
8. Go back to being a red; I just love it so much.
9. Share some exciting news in May; Can’t talk about it yet, sorry.
10. Learn Spanish so I can help the kids; 
11. Join the church choir. So, this might be happening already, I just haven’t said anything. I’m not particularly religious, as you already know. I have faith and I pray and I love to read your posts about faith and God’s word. But I don’t consider myself fully catholic and I don’t go to church. But I feel the need to sing. I haven’t in a long time and my spirit longs for it. So I looked into different options and the easiest and friendliest was the church choir. I have talked to one of the ladies and she lives near me so she even offered a ride. I’m going next Monday and try it out.
12. I had this idea or this calling after all of the things that happened in Portugal for the past few months. I would like… and bear with me… to train to be a volunteer  firefighter. Putting out fires is not all they do. They are the first at car accidents, 911 calls, they ride ambulances, help in all kinds of situations and are the first ones to be there for people when they need it the most. I thought it sounded stupid and impossible because I’m so far from being fit and I have no physical strength or resistance. I have talked to a girl I know who is a firefighter and she told me that’s not an issue at all. She said the physical test are minimal and that I could always get better and lose the weight before or while I’m taking the preparation course (250 hours, I think) because it would be long before I had to actually do something. I talked to my local fire department and they said I should go there and speak to them in person. I don’t know. Rui and I are talking and trying to figure out  what this would mean to us and how and if we could make it work. I don’t know if I dream too much of if I’m just someone who really wants to make a difference.
13. Learning how to sew;
14. Keep collecting plants and turn our patio into a beautiful garden;
15. Double my income;
16. Do my best to get organized; For the past few year, maybe more, I’ve had this problem where I can’t seem to get my shit together. If I’m working and being successful there, my house is a mess and the dog needs a bath. If I’m off, I should be cleaning the house but I seem to always feel tired and lazy so nothing gets done anyway. Laundry is an issue too. I’m always behind on errands. People keep telling me I don’t call or answer their calls. I just need to find a way to balance things better.
17. Really help someone;
18. Learn how to dance;
19. Volunteer at some charity or event;
20. Finally decorate this house;
21. Go off my medication completely. 
22. Meet some new people and make new friends. Be open to people and to the world in general;
23. Be in more pictures;
24. Just go to places and get out more;
25. Try new things;
26. Challenge myself;

Year 26 Challenge:

• 1.5 L of water every single day for a year;
• Exercise every single day for a year; (even just 15 minutes of yoga)
• No McDonald’s or soda for a year; (here’s looking at you, coke)
• 1 book a week for a year;
• 1 post a day for a year;
• 1 selfie a day for a year;
• Mandatory full skin care for a year; (Never go to bed without washing my face, never leave the house without sunscreen, never forget to moisturize after showering, remember to clean and moisturize my face on the weekends)
• Write 1 nice thought about myself every day for a year;

I guess I’m ready to take on this year. I just need to accept being 26 and try to make the best of it. I don’t to let another year go by and feel like I haven’t tried hard enough or that I haven’t accomplished anything. It’s the worst feeling.

Does anyone want to join me in one of the above challenges? We can be sodaholics anonymous together!!

Thank you for being here, friends.

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Daily planner and journal: 03/10/17

Hello everyone,

I hope you are well.

First of all. I would like to start by saying that I am so sorry for what happened yesterday in Las Vegas. I cannot even imagine the pain those families must be feeling. Your son, daughter, mother, father or someone else you love goes to a concert where they feel safe and they never come home. This is so sad and I can only imagine the heartache. I am sorry for all of you American friends in general, who no longer feel safe in your country. This is a tragedy and we should all be in mourning. My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry this is happening in your country.

Secondly, I need to say that one of my dearest friend is going through something very difficult and that we would appreciate some prayers and thoughts. Her uncle died in the most painful circumstances, because of a stupid accident that should never have happened. Life can be so hard and sad. Please pray for his soul and for the strength of those who lost him, especially his mother who is going through one of the worst pains one can feel. I can only imagine how desperate she must feel. For my friend, who I love so much, I send so much love and my own prayers and positive thoughts. I hope you read this. I love you so much. You can go through anything. You are strong. We’re here for you.

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On another note, I thought I would do a little update, for those who have the time and patience to read it.

I am still in love with my job. I love the kids, even when they are difficult. They say they love me too, which is the best I can ask for. When kids hate you, they really hate you and have no shame in making your life a living hell while you are trying to work. I am blessed with patience and I think that is one of the things they like about me. I listen to them, I answer their questions, I am funny and approachable. I need to be firm and focus on discipline sometimes, which I honestly hate because I don’t like to be mean and hard on my not so little guys and girls. I love my colleagues and the work I do. I love the hours, which allow me to work on other things and still have plenty of free time. I am blessed with a good salary for the hours I work, which is more than I could ask for. I cannot describe the feeling of getting my first paycheck after 6 months of being home. I feel like myself again, finally.

My online work is going really well. I have regular clients for whom I do book promotions, write articles and other general assistant tasks, which is something I love and am good at. You know how much I love organization, which is the one of my main tasks for such job. I also make extra money which is so helpful and rewarding for me. I have never had less than two, three or four jobs. I love the different planning and schedules and multitasking side of things. I like to be busy with different projects and to feel productive. I am very happy and fulfilled when it comes to my professional life.

 

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October is my birthday month. I usually love my birthday but I ‘m honestly not feeling it this year, for several reasons that are not worth mentioning. Last year my friends threw me a surprise birthday party.

The year before, when I turned 24, I had a big party at home, with about 20 people, friends and family.

When I turned 23, I had a pretty big party as well.

For 22, we ate at a restaurant and my friends decided to sing happy birthday after I demanded they wouldn’t. Well, the restaurant was absolutely full and I had to endure about 50 people singing happy birthday while I was blushing like I had never had before and had no idea where to look. That was interesting.

For 21, I had a small dinner with my best friends at a shopping mall. My mom and sister came by to deliver some cake. Pretty simple.

For 20, I was very sad. I had just been accepted into college, had pushed away most of my friends (after a very difficult couple of years – screw 2010 and 2011) and was working a job I absolutely hated and that made me feel like a slave. My best friends surprised me with a birthday cake that I accidentally dropped.

For 19, I was pretty happy. I had many friends attending my birthday lunch and movie (at the mall). I had breakfast with my grandmother and grandfather (we were in good terms after a long time of arguing). My grandfather died exactly a week later. My birthday was the last one he was alive for.

For 18, I had a big lunch at the mall. There were about 20 friends plus the guy who had broken my heart a few months before and decided to crash my birthday lunch. We had lunch, went to see a movie, came back to my house where I had a big family party waiting (I was allowed to bring two of my best friends), as well as a laptop as a present and a birthday cake that was a book and which had my face on one said and sad something like “18 years ago I looked at you for the first time. You were my first love”. Thanks mom. Both ironically and not so ironically. After dinner, I was allowed to go out and party for the first time, with both my best friends. I invited the heart breaker (stupid, stupid, stupid) and he decided it was a good idea to make out with a girl right next to me, at the club. Oh, you bastard. I hope you are a better person now.

For 26. Only God know. Let’s wait and see what October 23rd has in store for me.

When is your birthday? Do you like celebrating it?