blogging / Family / Health - Anxiety and depression / Personal / To-do lists

Why I haven’t been blogging and am I back?

Cheila65 Comments

Hey friends,

It’s been a while.

I’ve been posting my challenge posts (which I totally failed yesterday, need to post ASAP) and nothing else for almost a week. Can you remember why I said I needed some time? I told you I had a ton of things to take care of, was feeling overwhelmed because I had been so busy and was super behind on blogging. Are those problems solved? Not even close. I’ve been having a hard time because of some family issues and I think I might be dealing with a relapse. I have no energy, my body aches, I can’t find my blogging mojo, I’ve been super anxious and down. I have had to increase my sleeping medication again because I can’t fall asleep on the lowest dose I was taking anymore. The nightmares and cold sweats have been happening. Yesterday I spent the whole day out, taking care of sorting some IRS things and then, when I was about to go get some groceries, I was sucked into a major family drama (through a few calls) and had the biggest panic attack I’ve ever had. It scared the shit out of me. I literally couldn’t breathe or stop hyperventilating and I thought I was going to have a heart attack or something like that. It sounds stupid now but, if you’ve had a big one(panic attack, not heart attack), then you know what I’m talking about. It’s funny how certain things in life just have so much power in you, that they can make you physically sick. I mean the family drama, not the IRS, just to be clear. Though for some people it might. Well, moving on. Things keep piling up and I have no idea how someone who is not currently working can get to busy. The house is on fire with shit to be taken care of, I have a bunch of errands to run and the month is set to be a busy one until the end. Rui has a wedding to attend (thank God I don’t have to go or worry too much about that), we have his brother’s graduation and their parents staying with us, I have my best friend, who I haven’t seen in two years, coming from Austria and that should be emotional for sure. My exams are getting closer and closer and I have yet to start studying. I might have to make some decisions. Should I drop German? I don’t need it to finish. I’m doing it because I want to, and love to. I have no idea.

I’m honestly just feeling like shit right now, dealing with the weight of the world. I was well and happy and then, suddenly, something changed and it has been downhill from there. I’m sorry I can’t tell you what happened, I understand how annoying it is. But it’s not my secret to tell.

I’m sorry about all the negativity. I really am. It annoys me too.

I want to slowly be back. I still have a bunch of posts to catch up on. I’ve been reading them every day, but there are always new ones. So many.

I’ll come back tonight with my challenge posts, day 11 and 12. See you soon?

P.S. At least the pope is here this weekend and we might win Eurovision so…

P.S.S. We might win Eurovision because the song is good, bot because of the pope. Those were separate ideas. Needed to clarify that.

Sending love!!

xx

65 thoughts on “Why I haven’t been blogging and am I back?”

  3. Ugh I know how all of that feels like! Being sucked into family drama, even friends drama or anyone else that wants to let you in on something or ask your opinion/help. And then it’s like you’re stuck in the middle of 2 sides and everyone is waiting for you to choose a side, make a decision, say something when it’s not even your problem. It jus easily becomes your problem. And you feel that overwhelming, world on your shoulder feelings. Then you don’t feel like doing anything else because everything is so freaking annoying and stressful in the moment. I hope everything gets well and you get back to yourself soon. Back to some happiness and peace. And if you have to drop Sherman go ahead to take some of the load off, only if you really feel you have to.
    I’ll be waiting for ya 💕💕💕

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  4. I hope things get better for you😊 As for Eurovision….I’ve lost hope in the UK winning😂 We haven’t won in AGESSSS, not gonna happen any time soon!😂

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  7. I’m sorry you’re having a hard time at the moment. Look after yourself and make sure you take time out to do things that relax you and make you feel better. I hope that you feel better soon! And I wouldn’t worry about catching up with reading posts/ keeping up with your blogging schedule. Blogging should be fun, not just another thing stressing you out. Hugs from Scotland xx

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  10. Family drama can do all of that, Cheila. But can you not detach yourself in any way till you find your peace of mind back? At one point you have to look out for yourself. Sorry to hear about the medication too. Well, I can only hope that your friend visiting you from Austria will cheer you up and Eurovision too. I don’t know if the pope shall be doing his bit though. Anyway, you take care and not stress about catching up on blogs for the time being. Do what makes you happy xx

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  17. Cheila, I am sorry for the situation with your family. I’m not exactly sure how to offer consolation except to let you know that Jesus loves you and offers his peace to you. He offered that whenever family forsakes us that he’s there to pick up the pieces. Let me know if you ever need to talk.

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  18. Stay strong and focused, you can get through this – sending hugs and positivity 😺💞

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  20. My love! I’m so sorry you’re having literally everything being thrown at you at once. A full blown panic attack is so scary. I remember my last one and truly thought I was going to die.

    I wish I could give you more hours in a day? Maybe a clone! Helo divvy up the madness. Hang in there beautiful girl , take several long breaths and tackle! ♥️ You got this love just take your time and break from.blogging if you need too. I’m always here!!!

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  21. This is a work of love, not obligation. No one will judge you for taking some time away to take care of yourself and the ones you love. We’ll all be here. And if you ask, we’ve most of us taken time off at one point or another. You’ve got all of our well-wishes in a basket at your doorstep. You’ve survived every bad time life has given you so far, and you’ll get through this one.

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  22. Aww Cheila 😦 That sucks that things are going from bad to worse. Hopefully things start turning around and you’ll be able to get back to a sense of normalcy. Hugs!!

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  23. Sending prayers for the courage to tackle it. Family dramas are dramas, just that don’t get entertained so easily with it.

    I break the family dramas at our end like this:

    – Does it effect me or my immediate family, if no. Don’t get to sentimental or emotional. Give due time and effort to it.

    If yes, break it as to how it will effect and the future issues associated with it. Some thing are meant to have the effects on long run basis than short run. So care has to be taken on the long run ones.

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  24. I’m sorry you’re going through a tough time Cheila. Sending love from Chicago and let me know if there’s anything I can do to help. We may be far away but I’m here for you! 💖

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  26. I really hope everything gets better! It’s horrible when you’re having a pretty good life, happy and all that, but then bam. Drama. Please know that the blogging world is behind you 🙂

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  27. Hey Cheila, I hope you are feeling better soon! ❤️ It sucks when you are stressed and you can’t get everything done because you’re anxious… This stressfull time will end soon and things that make you happy are just around the corner! xx Friederike

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  29. I hope you feel better soon! Don’t put any pressure onto yourself to upload posts, if you’re not feeling like it. Do whatever pleases you and take care of yourself in this difficult time! We’re all here to support you and we totally understand if you can’t post as much or so. I mean, the amount of work that you’ve already done here is more than enough!
    All the best, elena

    https://outnaboutweb.wordpress.com

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  31. The stupid thing about panic attacks is that you KNOW that it is a panic attack, but there is absolutely NO WAY that this is going to stop you sliding down that hill…I hope you feel better soon!
    *sending you virtual hugs*

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  33. Hello my beautiful friend ❤ I am peeved that I did not post my original comment Friday! I ended up going for a hike/had a mental health get away and reception was wonky – sorry this is so late! UGH!

    My love, I am sorry to hear that you were having such a hard day. It breaks my heart to hear that you have had some old symptoms come back 😦 . Just remember you are number one my dear, us blogger pals will always be right here and you do not need to read everything. Blogging life can take up my life/days easily if I let it and I have a fraction of the followers! If you need to take a break, please do. Kudos for keeping up with your challenge! I gotta make sure my gal over the water is healthy! MOST IMPORTANT! It sounds like you kicked some of the bad vibe ass?? Even baked with is AWESOME and good for you girl!

    Know that I am always here, no matter what okay!? Take a break from blogging if needed and do NOT feel bad, we will be here babe! If you need to silence your phone or ignore a call from someone causing you stress or drama, try to ignore it. I know it is hard for souls such as ours but it is a must. I am slowly getting around to doing this more myself. You can do it!

    I love you dear and I will be catching up on your posts today! My weekend away messed me all up! Damn woods/cabin life haha. <3<3<3<3<3 sending all the hugs and love!

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    • Did you have fun, though? haha This is such a sweet comment, my friend! I had a good weekend and I’m much better today/this week. Thank you for your love. All the love back!! I hope you’re okay!!

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  34. I feel for you with the panic, and after an attack like that it makes my body do all kinds of things. Migraines, nausea, vertigo, for days. I know this is late for comments and I apologize for that but we left on the 11th for a holiday. I am just getting back to the blog and catching up. Many prayers to you my friend. The weight of the world isn’t lite, sometimes, as hard as it sounds we just have to put it down and give it to something stronger than ourselves. I’m thankful(from reading previous comment) that you are feeling better. You deserve it 🙂

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