I’m back, out into the world

Today I finally left the house and came back to work. It’s not being an easy day. I’m scared, I miss home, I had to sleep on the sofa with my boyfriend because Rosa peed on our bed as revenge for not being allowed on the sofa, you know, usual stuff. I woke up in the morning and I almost couldn’t do it. I mean, I could wake up easily, I could get up. I guess my night pills are no longer making me totally high. But I felt I couldn’t leave the safety of my house, deal with people, be a person. My boyfriend encouraged me by saying “You can do it. You already left the bed (or the couch, because of the f***** * dog), which is the worst part. Come on, after the first day you’ll be fine.” so I got dressed (I had showered and done my hair last night), washed my face, brushed my teeth, ate the cereal that I’m addicted to (Come on, I needed encouragement), fixed my hair a little, started doing my make up, poked my eye with my mascaraa because I no longer remembered how to put my makeup on, decided I would finish in the car and we left the house. I finished my makeup in the car and spilled powder foundation all over me… Thank god I always carry baby wipes. I finally managed to finish my makeup and I was physically ready for the day. My head, that’s a different story! But I’m here, waiting for my next student to show up. I don’t feel comfortable yet, but I will be. This is me. I work. I love to work. I work more than most people. So I will work, and I will like it.

I will update you guys tonight, after my day is finished. Early, which is a victory.

Please be with me.




20 thoughts on “I’m back, out into the world

  1. This is such a big day for you and so proud! I know the days where the only comfortable spot, is home. I feel that way most of the time honestly. Anxiety, you are the worst!

    Sorry to hear about the dog issues! It seems we have that in common as well 😂😖. Gotta laugh sometimes or we may just cry.

    Hang in there you fabulous warrior! It will get easier and I am here if you need to chat as well. We shall fight together!

    Cannot wait to hear the update. Sending you all the good vibes and hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh I hate those mascara moments – it always happens when you’re in a rush or feeling stressed. I hope your day is going well now and that you can enjoy the time with the students. That will make it go faster 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Major congrats to you! You got this! 😀
    Thank goodness you carry wipes on you so that the powder incident was such an easy fix. Very proud of you taking today head on like this. You will do wonderfully. Best of luck! ❤
    On a side note, we had a particular pug when I was growing up who also did the revenge-potty thing like your cute little Rosa. Normally he didn't have accidents in the house, but my grandma was staying with us for a bit and she wouldn't let him in the guest room which was absolutely unacceptable to him. He made it a point to poop in her shoe and the one time he managed to sneak into her room he pooped right on her pillow. They can be such little monsters when they're mad, can't they? lol

    Liked by 1 person

    • She has such a personality. It’s not the first time it happens, either. There was another time, when we wouldn’t let her have her way and she went to our room and peed in our bed. The other day she was being bad so we took her to the kitchen and closed the door, when we got there she had peed in there. She’s vindictive lol What a little bitch. Literally

      Liked by 1 person

      • lmao! Yeah, anyone who thinks animals don’t have personalities clearly hasn’t met many animals. My parents have a pug now that will throw little temper tantrums if my dad (her favorite person ever) isn’t home on time from work. She’ll just go sit by his chair and bark and bark and bark until he gets home. She is such a brat about it, but I think it’s sweet just how much she loves him. Annoying, definitely. But still sweet. lol


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