This was a short week for me, as I stayed home for three days. I’m starting my second semester of university next week and that will add so much to my big to-do list. I will go back to studying, attending classes, doing homework and reading the materials while I’m running my business by myself and trying to take care of my house and normal life tasks. I’m also entering the busiest time of the year – the months before the final exams, for students that are applying for college, for which I give tutoring sessions. From now on, I will be super busy, until at least the middle of June. I’m doing this while fighting depression and anxiety, changing medications and trying to get better. It’s not easy, but I don’t dislike it. I love working and being busy and having a lot going on at the same time, I just wish my health was cooperating. I needed to take a few days before the craziness starts, so I’m glad I did. I’m really blessed by the fact that I’m able to manage my own schedule and take some days-off when I need them. Oh, I should also mention that this is my last year of university so I really need to finish every single one of my courses. No pressure, right?
Anyway, I have some news regarding my health situation. I went to a new psychiatrist yesterday, looking for a second opinion. We talked for a long time, she asked me many questions, I told her everything about my life and my symptoms and how I’ve been getting worse. She decided that my medication wasn’t working and so I’m trying a new one. She also said that she thinks I might have type 2 bipolar disorder, which is a completely new diagnostic. A very scary one. Will I have to live like this forever? Take medication until the day I die? It’s quite possible. People keep telling me that I should not be suffering by anticipation, because she is not sure yet, but I can’t help but think about what this means, how my life will change, how can I live with it. I guess I need to wait and see, be patient and to hope for the best.
Okay, so let’s try to come up with some favorites to cheer things up a bit:
- My new doctor. I loved our appointment yesterday and her, as a professional. She is really nice and seems to know what she’s talking about. She was recommended to me by my best friend, and recommended to him by his therapist, which I recommended to him because she is also my therapist and I really like her. Am I making you confuse? My best friend and I share the same therapist and the same psychiatrist. We also share 12 years of history, since we are childhood best friends. The sad part is, we also share a huge depression.
- The fact that my new doctor recommended my current therapist. I was thinking about changing and had actually scheduled an appointment somewhere else, but now I will go back to the one I had and liked. I just wasn’t sure if she was helping me enough, but my doctor described her as an “excellent professional” and recommended that I keep going there, once a week. I talked to my therapist about my psychiatrist and she said she is really happy that I found her, because she really trusts her work. Looks like I’m finally in good hands, right?
- I’ve watched Passengers and Moonlight this week. I liked the first one and loved the second. I think it could win the Oscar for best picture, if La La Land wasn’t so popular and so well-liked. I loved it because it’s so different and unique and maybe it should get a chance.
- I didn’t have to cook this week. Mr.R took care of the kitchen and cooked two amazing roast dinners. He’s such a great cook and I’m very lucky to have him to take over and cook delicious meals for us, when I’m not able. He likes it too and it’s some sort of hobby for him so it’s a win-win situation.
- We are almost done with the 5th season of American Horror Story and, as usual, it started kind of slow and meh for me, but now I love it and I’m curious to see how it ends. I still think Lady Gaga is almost playing herself, with the power games and crazy costumes but I also think she can act.
- I’ve got a bunch of new followers and cool people who I’m following and interacting with. Blogging has become such a great and fulfilling hobby and I’m falling more and more in love with it each day.
- I discovered lactose-free milk at Aldi for 0,79€, which is a lot cheaper than what I was paying for the brand I was buying (1,37€). It’s not fat-free, just semi-skimmed but I guess I will just have to settle for that because it’s so inexpensive and I go through a lot of milk each week.
- New medication. I hate taking medication and I hate it even more when they change it and I have to start all over again. I guess it’s not so bad because it also gives me hope that this time it will work and I will feel better.
- My not certain but possible bipolar disorder diagnosis. I’m obviously worried about it and will only relax when I know, for sure, if I have it and what that means for me.
- The fact that I haven’t started any books yet, which is one of my goals for the month of February.
- My house is a mess and we are too tired to clean it up. We have laundry to do, laundry to fold, clothes to put away, we need to vacuum and dust, the dog needs a bath… the list never ends. Busy schedules are the worst. There’s always something that we cannot get to.
- How expensive my doctor’s appointment and my new medication was. It was a big investment and, although I understand that it is a necessity, it kind of hurts to pay that amount.